Your friends are all fast asleep!
Tales from the Crypt #6
Somewhere between the late-night grinding and secret Pokémon strategies, we lost sight of why we started playing in the first place…
It was early 2015, and I had just finished my first semester at university. I had just survived 6 months of hell. As much as I was a nerd in high school, nothing could have prepared me for the grind needed to keep my grades up during my bachelor’s.
When the holidays finally arrived, I was exhausted. All I wanted was to tuck in, watch anime, play games, and sleep. Many of my friends — who had also just started higher education — felt the same way.
One day, we were reminiscing how good it was to be a kid — no worries, no time pressure, just living in the moment. I mentioned how I missed playing the older Pokémon games: I was thinking Pokémon Yellow, Silver, and Emerald, my personal old-school favourites.
Pokémon Silver is a nostalgic one for me; I explored Johto and Kanto with my faithful Pokémon team, and only made it through because I played it with an English-Portuguese dictionary by my side. I usually joke that Pokémon taught me English (which is true to some extent).
Back to the conversation I was having with these friends. They agreed that Pokémon was great, and wondered if we could all play together somehow. I was one of the few who owned a Nintendo console and original Pokémon cartridges, so the official avenue wasn’t an option.
That was when we found out about PokéMMO.
PokéMMO — which, surprisingly, hasn’t been taken down by Nintendo yet — is basically an online emulator of Pokémon that essentially works as a Pokémon Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game (MMORPG).
Everyone was quickly sold on the idea of playing Pokémon together. Anyone could play in any way they wanted, but we had a deal: after two weeks, we’d hold a private tournament within our own group. Whoever won it would be crowned the group’s Pokémon Master.
And now, let’s present some of our most memorable Pokémon trainers (although the complete group was bigger).
Ollorb – You may remember him; Ollorb first made his mark in Master of Silence, where his microphone was as unintelligible as an ancient prophecy. An explorer at heart, always checking out new games and venturing into the unknown — whether it’s a perilous dungeon or the chaotic depths of our gaming sessions.
Bolinho – Known from The Defector’s Hideout, Bolinho is usually the embodiment of calm and quiet calculation. That is, until he isn’t. His unexpected outbursts and occasional dramatic desertions keep us all on edge, wondering when he’ll next disappear to build a secret outpost.
Kelvin – If there’s a pun to be made, Kelvin will make it. The class clown of the group, he ensures that even the most intense moments come with a groan-worthy joke. When he’s not filling the air with wordplay, he’s probably deep into music, tech, or finding creative ways to sabotage a game’s intended mechanics.
Tiago – The natural leader — whether we asked for one or not. Tiago has a strong presence and a tendency to take charge and matters into his own hands. He’s the kind of player who will issue strategic orders while simultaneously roasting the team. Naturally, he was the one who came up with the tournament.
Folkvar – The wildcard of the group, Folkvar is paradoxically laid-back and anxious, and a creative soul, bringing a unique energy to every gaming session. Whether it’s an unorthodox strategy or a completely unnecessary idea, Folkvar’s mind works in ways the rest of us can only try to understand.
All these players, as well as the rest of the group, started playing PokéMMO in a friendly competition. But then Tiago — tournament creator and self-appointed organiser — started teasing the other trainers, proposing exhibition matches before the real tournament. He was also already laying down rules for battle formats and level caps. No one had agreed to anything yet, but it didn’t matter. Tiago had already decided.
One day, during an exhibition match between Tiago and Folkvar, hell broke loose. Tiago started using potions — healing items that recover a Pokémon’s hit points — mid-battle. While for him this was a simple, expected game strategy, Folkvar saw it as flat-out cheating.
“YOU CAN ONLY USE POTIONS TO RECOVER YOUR POKÉMON’S HEALTH BEFORE OR AFTER BATTLES, NEVER IN THE MIDDLE OF A MATCH!” Folkvar screamed.
“It’s in the game and NPCs do it,” Tiago shrugged.
This argument lasted many days, with half the group taking sides. Some, like Ollorb, looked for in-game examples of using items mid-battle, pitching into the discussion. Others, like Bolinho, had no interest in the debate at all — mostly because he had vanished again, presumably grinding levels in secret.
The potion incident led to years-long memes about it in our group chat.
At this point, “playing Pokémon together” wasn’t really about nostalgia anymore — it was developing into an arms race. Everyone got too obsessed with the tournament Tiago had devised. Soon, chill gaming sessions became full-fledged, intensive grind.
We played every day, for many, many hours. Everyone was trying to find strong Pokémon to capture, and there was also a great focus on levelling up our favourite creatures.
Tensions were running high, with players bluffing about their teams and levels, taunting each other, doing deep research about the game, and pulling all-nighters to avoid staying behind.
And it didn't stop there. Some practice battles were already happening, setting the stage for an explosive tournament.
During one of our unnecessary all-nighters, Kelvin finally stepped up to be the voice of reason.
“Guys, let’s be real. It is FOUR AM. We have been like this for over a week now. No quality sleep, crazy levels of stress, all because of a game. This is no way to have fun. Y’all need to chill. Let’s go to sleep. PLEASE.”
Everyone felt so ashamed. He was right. Competitiveness took over, and it wasn’t about having a good time anymore; it was about winning. What about the childhood wonder we were chasing when we started playing PokéMMO together?
We all agreed on hitting the brakes and getting some much-needed rest. In 10 minutes, we had all logged out. I went to sleep feeling way more relaxed; now that we had talked about it, I had finally realised how nervous I was about levelling up and playing efficiently.
I had to wake up earlier than the rest of the group. It was 10 am, so I did get some hours of sleep in — although I'd like more, I had driving lessons starting at noon.
I got ready and had my breakfast, so now I just had to wait for my classes. With nothing better to do, I, of course, turned on my PC to play PokéMMO.
And then I saw it.
You see, PokéMMO had a “friends” feature. You could add other players, chat, and see whether they were playing or not, and how long they had been online.
I looked at my friend list, and… Kelvin was online. And he had been online… for 6 hours.
He made us all go to sleep… so he could keep grinding and leave us all behind, becoming the strongest Pokémon trainer in the group.
What a master manipulator. Of course, I told everyone in the group… and we all immediately went back to our exaggerated way of playing.
Did his strategy work in the end? Who got the honour to be called the group’s very best? Truth is, I don't think I remember it. But everyone remembers Kelvin as that unreliable jester.
— The ghost who did not catch ‘em all,
almoghost.exe (or André Almo if you’re feeling serious) 👻
i don’t recall luring you all into sleeping… But I won’t deny it either
Sensacional!!!