Cigarettes & Basilisks
Tales from the Crypt #1
Five minutes to midnight, and the Basilist was about to strike. That was when I opened our party’s group chat, only to find a chilling message. "Guys, I smoked a pack," Pedro had confessed at 11:50 PM. João and I froze. This was how our valiant quest to slay a monster made of undone to-do lists ended — not with glory, but with a puff of smoke.
But let’s rewind a little to make sense of this story.
It was early 2018. I was neck-deep in the chaos of finishing my undergraduate degree. I had a seemingly infinite collection of research papers inside my ‘to read’ folder and experiments to run. My final-year research project was looming like an academic mini-boss. I had always prided myself on being organised and in control, but this was next-level stress.
To stay on top of everything, I bounced between productivity tools like a wizard searching for the ultimate spellbook. I wanted a task management system to help me be the most efficient version of myself. Often times, the tools I used didn’t matter as much as my own motivation to tackle my tasks. What I needed was something that would give me some extra enthusiasm.
That was when, one day, I stumbled upon Habitica.
As an avid gamer, I was instantly drawn to it. Its gamification elements, pixel art style and RPG aesthetic made it look like the perfect platform to add some fun to my never-ending lists of habits and tasks. In Habitica, you can add tasks (which must be completed) and habits, both positive (which you should aim to keep) and negative (which you should break). By following this, your character accumulates experience points, levels up, gets coins to buy armour and items, among other things.
Habitica also had a ‘party’ mechanic: you could invite up to 3 friends and form a group of 4 ‘heroes’ who would then complete quests and missions together. To progress in these adventures, you simply needed to keep a positive record of habits and complete your personal tasks.
I used Habitica by myself for about a week. It was fine, but really, what’s an RPG without a party? I felt like I was missing out. I recruited two friends — João and Pedro — to my group. It may be important to mention that Habitica also had classes: characters could be warriors, wizards, rogues or clerics. In our group, each member fulfilled a role. João was the gym-loving warrior, ready to smash tasks with brute force. Pedro, the rogue, liked the idea of sneak-attacking his habits. I was the wizard, casting productivity spells by reading and writing papers, as well as keeping the house clean.
So the three of us set out on a digital journey through the world of Habitica. One of our first quests was to fight a huge, powerful snake-like creature made of paper: the Basilist. The Basilist was born out of procrastination and undone to-do lists. Its attacks grew stronger if we skipped tasks, ignored positive habits, or indulged in negative ones. Thus, during a battle against the Basilist, the more you kept on track with your habits and tasks, the weaker the creature’s attacks would be. However, if you messed up, the hits would be stronger.
We started off strong. The fight was going pretty well. João powered through gym sessions and design work, landing critical hits. I nuked the Basilist with spells fueled by chores and caffeine. Pedro was our secret weapon, chipping away at the beast with stealthy healthy meals and work projects. We were always cheering each other in a group chat we had created for our party. We felt like a group of seasoned adventurers.
When the Basilist was about to be beaten, though, Pedro vanished. João and I figured he was just busier than usual, and we went on with our tasks until the end of the day. But as the clock ticked closer to midnight — that was when the Basilist attacked — Pedro finally reappeared.
“Buddies, I have to tell you something.”
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“You remember I’m trying to quit smoking, right?”
“Yeah! You’re doing so well.” João said.
“Yeah, so… I added a negative habit for every cigarette I smoke.”
“This looks like a great idea to me.” I declared, but already realising something was off.
Pedro continued: “And… I had a bad day. So… I smoked a bit…”
“...how much is a bit?” I asked.
“...a pack.”
We were doomed. We had 5 minutes to midnight and we were missing a cleric (no one else I invited was too excited about the idea of having a gamified task/habit manager). I bought a few potions to try to mitigate the damage, and got us all to max health points. It wasn’t enough: the Basilist hit us hard, with the force of Pedro’s nicotine regrets. We were defeated.
We regrouped the next day, bruised but determined. We stocked up on healing items, did our best to level up and bought better equipment. Slowly, we recovered, tackling tougher quests and stronger monsters. But in the end, Habitica’s toughest foe wasn’t the Basilist or even Pedro’s cigarettes. It was motivation.
João and Pedro eventually stopped playing, leaving me a lonely wizard in the digital lands of Habitica. I kept fighting, ticking off tasks and slaying monsters solo. Life moved on, but the memory of our doomed battle with the Basilist stayed with me. Motivation is fickle, but at least it makes for a good story. Oh, well. Motivation is a fickle thing.
— The world’s most motivated ghost,
almoghost.exe (or André Almo if you’re feeling serious) 👻
Os desenhos são muito maneiros!!!
Waiting for your Canada chronicles